Thursday, March 26, 2009

Loss of control

Just when we thought we had everything under control, Elijah's diabetes is totally out of control. He fluctuates between lows in the 50s to unknown highs that just register as HI on the meter which goes up to 500. Being a person that has serious issues with control this has been extremely difficult for me. I can see no trends, no similarities...he is high and low in the same day, on different days at similar all seems so totally random. I wish I could just get a handle on it so I could help him. Everytime I look at his face I am concerned...every time he is acting out of sorts I wonder if he is high or if he is low...constantly trying to remember the last thing he ate, the last time he had insulin and when he will be eating sometimes seems so overwhelming. He has started crying again with shots in the evening and that just makes the heartbreak worse.

God is teaching me a great lesson about control...I know as hard as I am fighting to control this disease for my baby, He is fighting for control over me and my life.

below is a picture of the insulin pump Elijah will probably be getting sometime in the near future. It is a small machine that delivers the insulin through a implantable needle instead of using shots. The needle has to be reinserted in a new location every 3 days and is then attached to the pump through the tubing. So instead of a shot 6-8 times a day he will only have to have the new cannula implanted every 3 days...the pain is worse but is only once so he will get stuck much less. Pumping will give us a lot more flexibility and will hopefully give us better control of his requires even closer monitoring but I think it is worth the sacrifice. We will probably be trying it out this summer.

he would have to wear his site on the butt so he couldn't pull it out as easily.


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